Thursday, May 05, 2011

i'm over it

i'd like to think that i can take some (humble, obviously) pride in the fact that i go with the positive over the negative in my blogs.
well, today, not feelin' so positive.
Actually, that's not quite true. Today, I am over the being less-than-positive and on the up of the bell curve again (or what ever graph would apply in this case), but i'm still slightly, just ever so slightly miffed and in the mood for a moan.

As some of my regular readers may know, I'm a sole parent. Actually that's a stupid term.. (I'm over it topic No.1!!)....I parent on my own in my own house for most of the time. But the children have an interested and committed Dad that I co-parent with. True he lives elsewhere, so the day to day grind is my pleasure alone, but on the big stuff, we share responsibility. So I'm on the look out for a new term...single parent? well, I'm single and I parent, but eeeww, sounds like a tragic '70's term. Solo-mum is even worse, sheesh at the risk of generalising (and I NEVER do that...), I'd sound like the woman who sits around in her trackies, drinking coffee an screeching 'don't you effing swear at me you little brat'! Co-parent? Nope, still not quite right...

Anyway, I'm over it. Perhaps I shall invent a new word, post it on Urban Dictionary, and save myself the trouble of writing a whole novel?

On to to Over it No 2. Slightly connected. Had a great night out with a bunch of friends last week. All pretty much fit those revolting labels: sole parent, part-time parent, single, formerly married, mid life (starting to feel nauseous....) We're all at similar life stages and yet in some ways in vastly different places. ANYWAY, great friends, great time, great conversation. I spend much of the evening in private self congratulation at my excellent choice of friends and, further, my ability to straddle the male/female friendship abyss.

Until....I reflect that in my excellence at maintaining a fairly sound bridge over said abyss I have also inadvertently collected a number of 'hot' friends. More than just the aforementioned group, and I'm beginning to think that outside of coupledom (could i say coup-hell or would that just make me sound cynical...) I'm batting a bit out of my league. You know exactly what I mean. The women who still look terrific after having had 2 kids. The guys who are in good shape and still have the gift of the gab. The ones who are really nice people but have the gift of exuding confidence, nay SEX APPEAL without being scary or slutty. All good right? Absolutely - most delighted to hang out with boys my friends think are cute and girls my friends think are hot. )And this is not a poor me post, just an observation on the 'liciousness' of my friends...)

But dang, nothing makes you feel old and unsexy like hanging out with the beautiful people!
I could fill a blog just on some of those moments...more than once i have been on a date and seen MY date spending more time checking out my friends/the other girls in the cafe than looking at me. It's more common for me to be asked to pass on someone elses phone number than to hand over my own!

Yeah yeah so I'm not 30 anymore - I know that! So when a friend 'helpfully' suggested I might need to just find uglier friends (yeah i can hear that collective sharp intake of breath from my readers even as I write!..and I know he (yes it was a he) as largely just being a smartass, I thought....I'm over it! Now it really is time for a tantrum... I want to be the hot friend! Just occasionally...let someone ask their friend for MY number!!!


Under-the-Apple-Tree said...

Old wives tales or as I propose to call my missive,"stuff you don't want to hear but I'm gonna tell you anyway". My parents share with me their adages from 180 yrs of collective history and I have made up a few myself:

When we compare our insides with other people's outsides, unhappiness arrives.

Labels/terms: Know thyself: I see a description of a woman, a beautiful friend, lucky enough to have 2 children a warm sunny home with lots of visitors and lots of activities too look forward to. How could one find a single term?

Band-aids: Dalai Lama said re a broken aim, healing comes with plaster not with analysing 'who dun it".

IMO a good moan, followed by a good laugh is best medicine for the responsibilities the gift of life obliges us with.

Love Many, Trust Few, Always Paddle your own canoe.

mighty acorns said...

well most delicious apple, you need your own blog!!! well said!

putting the paddle down today and watching the rain wash past.

Maureen @ TatterScoops said...

Oh dear...I can so relate on this post on sooooo many level!
I have hot friends too that I love dearly but sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable being her side kicks...the guys we met - albeit they might be looser anyway - are always ended up more into her than me. It does stings sometimes but it's alright, when the right guy comes along he will focus on me ;) and that will happen to you too!