Wednesday, March 02, 2011

brain dumping

I was told recently that I had far too much in my head...that if I concentrated on using my legs and feet more, that the energy in my body would move around, and that as a result I might be calmer and thus sleep better.
Apparantly I was putting way too much energy into what was coming out my mouth and not enough into what was coming out of other parts of my body....(well that's what she said....!)
At the time, I must have looked pretty blank - this was about 3 weeks ago, and it is only now on reflection that I wonder if there might have been (just a tiny tiny tiny....) bit of truth in there.  For sure since making a concerted effort to get to Ceroc every week, and ride my bike twice a week, I am rather more tired than I was, as the day ends.  I have had quite a few late nights but I'm coping pretty well, not waking up feeling (completely) wrecked!
When I got home from my night out on Saturday I was on a total high - for sure I felt I was in a place where I was at my sparkliest happiest best - that's good, right!?!?  There's truth in the maxim that to start moving forward we should go back and look (not reside!) at the place where we were once the happiest.

Always a high energy person, I didn't really understand what she meant (actually I'm not sure I do yet) but I DO understand that the energy I have can be directed in lots of different ways.
A friend observed recently that I appeared to be pretty happy with my life - yes that's true...I really am, it's just about how I want it to be (but not quite...)

The other side of this, is that in a - somewhat feeble - attempt to SHUT UP, there's stil a whole lot of random stuff bouncing around in my head....
things in conversation that profoundly irritate me....people constantly retracking their statements with  'in saying that'......mispronunciation: somethink, ragland, proberly...being called Sue (you have been warned!)
bad spelling - cappuccino spelt wrong (why do kiwi cafes do this!); businesses that end their namez in z; kidz namez with stoopid spelling like Aiymee
daily frustrations....why can't I get i-tunes properly downloaded on my computer; why does coffee smell so much better than it actually tastes; why does it take the kids an hour just to get dressed and drink a glass of milk
the neverending to do list that seems to get longer not shorter - what is that about? I seem to be so much better at human doing than human being!
the continuing wrestling with big questions - why am i here, what is my mission?, what do i believe about the stuff that's bigger than my own life?

and the good stuff - time with friends and families, my work and interests, fond memories that just pop into my head without good reason, although often  prompted by a certain smell or sound (my two strongest senses) - a song, a scent, sigh I'm there!

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