Monday, August 01, 2011

was it something I said?

I've got an underdeveloped skill of not taking things personally.
Yep, I'm the one that hears a comment and spends way too much time analysing it.
I'm the one who feels wounded when it had nothing to do with me.


So when I make a new friend and then the friendship kind of...dwindles...i can't help but think...is it me?

The logical response, is of course: don't be ridiculous. that person is probably busy/distracted/oblivious.

So far so good.

But then it happens again.

Manners maketh the man (or woman...)...let's see...

And then last week I had a particularly unpleasant exchange with a stranger. Which included, the second time I met her, me saying, oh I'm SURE I know you, you look so familiar.  And her responding: Well I certainly don't know YOU and last time I saw you no one bothered to introduce us so I just thought I wouldn't bother talking to you.

Which I didn't take personally - I mean, good grief, is that about me? I don't think so!

Until...

Tonight.

A woman whom I know slightly.  I say hello.  Offer a boring time of day greeting.  Compliment her on an event I attended that she had run.  She responds with, yes well I'm very pleased for you. Really I am.   I look flummoxed.   She walks off.
I notice she is rubbing her temples.  When I get the chance I go to her, say, oh are you ok, do you have a headache.  She response with a laugh.  Looks directly at me and says No! No I do not! Why would you think that!?  Explain about temples.  She responds: and what if I did, what would you be likely to do about it. I say, oh, maybe offer you a panadol?  She responds again: Well, I think I am quite capable to bringing my own thanks.  AND I am not here to chat you know. I have had a hard week.'' (((me, thinking ffs it's Monday!!!!))).

I know I shouldn't let it bother me.  I know it's about her.
But honestly?
It's put me off ever returning to that place.  I don't need to be around that kind of rubbish.
And twice in a week.
Forget it.


4 comments:

JoGillespie said...

And after you complimented her, too! How very very VERY rude! There is just no excuse...not even the old "bad week" chestnut - that one can only be used with VERY close friends, who KNOW how bad your week can be even though it is only Monday. And I though this kind of thing only happened in Italy. *sigh*

Michelle said...

sounds like both of them need a wine!

Broot said...

I've been on all sides of that fence. I had a friend who constantly read more into my comments than I intended, one that resisted my overtures regardless of what I said, a friend that tried so hard to be my friend that it was overwhelming, and people that are just plain rude.

It all comes down to the context of the situation and the channel of the communication, I think. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

And I don't know anyone who isn't a stuck-up self-absorbed snob that isn't bothered by people's comments. So I think it shows that you're a lovely person who genuinely cares for people. :) **hugs**

David said...

grumpy old bag she was....

As for the friends thing, people are so busy these days, the fast paced lifestyle we lead, and sometime despite the best intentions, we just dont find the time, or the friendship fades. Much like the dating scene.

I have found that I dont need hordes of friends, just as few good ones who are faithful and reliable.