show me the money!

a hard lesson on working out what your time is worth.

hugs not drugs

I had bumped into a friend in the supermarket yesterday.  I don't see him very often, and he greeted me (in the queue) with a great bear hug.

Today he came by my house for a proper catch up, and again his visit started and ended with a hug.  He's a spiritual kind of guy, and we talked a lot about ''that kind of stuff''.  In fact, we got onto the subject of touch, as he is a healer, but in particular where it fits when you're around people not well known to you.

I mentioned that although part of work takes me into "corporate world" it is not uncommon for me to hug the people I meet.  He works in a trade, and says he often hugs his customers as he leaves his house.

Now this might sound kind of strange to the less tactile among us, but I reflected on the idea of touch further today and decided that it had become part of the way I do things - and how much I wish more people connected in this way.  I understand that there are places, and times, and people where it's not appropriate - but for me, touch is an important way of communicating.  And too many people are starved on safe, non-sexual touch.

I'll admit it. I love hugs. I love being enveloped by someone I feel safe with.  I love being able to hug my friends.  Touch is not my primary love language (more on that here) but it sure rates up there!  (Cuddles are great too...but that's not what I'm talking about here.:))

In a busy world there is often little chance to even to stop and talk, let alone take the time to physically - and by association, spiritually or emotionally - connect with the people we come across.  Imagine what a changed world we would live in if this were done differently.

Idealistic? Probably.  A bit kooky? Possibly.  Life-changing? Definitely.

feel the stress

How busy are you?  Do you race around with a to do list a mile long, one eye on the clock, one hand on the phone, the other on the steering wheel?  Do you ever feel like you are not doing a good enough job?

And how come other people who seem to be as equally busy as you...maybe more so, never seem to get stressed at all?  They sail through, confidently checking emails, and calendars and answering calls all the while cooking nutritious meals for their families and keeping the house clean, not a grey hair or wrinkle in sight? (eerm no...not me, not quite;))

I have come to the conclusion that stress is not necessarily related to busy-ness. It is however, all about our values.  So when we are busy, as long as we are happy with being busy, feel like we are achieving at the pace and standards we want to, we won't be stressed.

So it follows then, that in periods of high stress, the answer might be to simply stop what we're doing and examine which part of our live is causing the pain.  The answer to being busy might not actually be slowing down - it might be staying busy but lessening the things we are committed to.  It might mean making a deliberate effort to lower a particular standard, or change a deadline.

I work best under pressure.  If there's a deadline I work to it, in just-in-time fashion.  I guess I work well with all the adrenaline!  But that's different to stress.  Stress is when I feel out of control - like I am either going to let myself, or someone else down.  When that happens, I go into methodical mode.  Tasks are mentally prioritised and ticked off.  As each thing is complete it is posted, or packed or put out of my mind.  Leaving space for the next.  And this is also allowing me to be true to my values of timeliness and results.

What stresses you?  Do you see a link between values and stress?

Thanks PM for the inspiration for this one:)

be prepared!

Last Sunday I was part of the investiture of NZ's newest scouting group.  Keas, cubs and 4 new leaders had their investiture and were presented with their scarves.  It was a really interesting ceremony, including promises, laws salutes and handshakes.

It's a whole new world, this Scouting one.  I had no idea there was so much formality, so many rituals (wolf yell anyone?)  and tradition.  It was so terrific to see so many families connecting and commiting to what on the surface essentially appears to be a rather old fashioned (or at least old school!) way of bringing kids together.

The leaders all took on names (bird names in the case of ours).  I am yet to decide on a name - as I am not a nickname person - don't even like being called a derivative of my OWN name! - I am struggling with this a bit!

Especially considering that on arriving at the investiture I offhandedly mentioned to the organisers that I 'probably should have been invested today, just so there is another person warranted' - and ended up being invested as Group Leader - responsible for the whole shebang!

I'm a bit nervous about that - just how much extra work is this going to entail for me?  I often already feel a bit stretched and do not want to do a half hearted job.  However I am really excited about seeing this group get well established, and it is a great opportunity to be there from the beginning, so with that in mind I will approach this with an open mind (and a can-do attitude...very Scouting!)

Besides, what else would I do with all that time I am awake in the night!!?

you can see more about what we will be up to at www.scouts.org.nz