hugs not drugs

I had bumped into a friend in the supermarket yesterday.  I don't see him very often, and he greeted me (in the queue) with a great bear hug.

Today he came by my house for a proper catch up, and again his visit started and ended with a hug.  He's a spiritual kind of guy, and we talked a lot about ''that kind of stuff''.  In fact, we got onto the subject of touch, as he is a healer, but in particular where it fits when you're around people not well known to you.

I mentioned that although part of work takes me into "corporate world" it is not uncommon for me to hug the people I meet.  He works in a trade, and says he often hugs his customers as he leaves his house.

Now this might sound kind of strange to the less tactile among us, but I reflected on the idea of touch further today and decided that it had become part of the way I do things - and how much I wish more people connected in this way.  I understand that there are places, and times, and people where it's not appropriate - but for me, touch is an important way of communicating.  And too many people are starved on safe, non-sexual touch.

I'll admit it. I love hugs. I love being enveloped by someone I feel safe with.  I love being able to hug my friends.  Touch is not my primary love language (more on that here) but it sure rates up there!  (Cuddles are great too...but that's not what I'm talking about here.:))

In a busy world there is often little chance to even to stop and talk, let alone take the time to physically - and by association, spiritually or emotionally - connect with the people we come across.  Imagine what a changed world we would live in if this were done differently.

Idealistic? Probably.  A bit kooky? Possibly.  Life-changing? Definitely.

the quest for simplicity

As you know, I'm all for keeping things simple.
That means having less stuff - physical stuff, mental stuff, emotional stuff, even spiritual stuff.
It also means being intentional about the things, people, experiences, that accumulate going forward.

But I wonder - can this go a step too far?

http://guynameddave.com/100-thing-challenge/ is all about really paring down your possessions.  But I think he's missed a pretty crucial point.
 Sure we only need one chair to sit on.  We only need a one-person sized bed.  We really only need one knife and fork for that matter.

The argument goes, according to Dave and his ilk, that when one lives a transitory life (the roving author, the travel guide et al), one can manage with the contents of their backpack.  So good so far.
But the reality is that for most of us, we need a place to call home.  We can't afford to live in hotels.  In fact we probably have no desire to do so.  So that even if we only own 100 things (and this guy takes some poetic licence with that concept), we are still going to need to use a whole lot more than that.

Which means, doesn't it, that we will need to borrow those things from someone else? Whether that be by way of renting them, making use of public ones (hardly likely in the event of a bed or dining table!), or using the ones currently owned by others, we still can't get away from the fact that someday, somewhere, we are going to need more than those 100 things.

And whilst the idea of 'where-ever I lay my hat'' may sound appealing I think it has left out one really REALLY important consideration.

And that is, what about people?  The best way to nurture those we love is to spend time with them.  Which mostly means real human contact - consistently and constantly.  Not so easy when you live out of a suitcase.  The novelty of perching on someones single bed, eating every meal out of the same bowl is going to wear off pretty quick (trust me, I've been there!).  I accept that hospitality is about people not places, but transit lounges and cafes are not sustainable when it comes to building trust and longevity into a relationship of any kind.


Sure, have as little 'stuff'as possible.  Strive to be kind to the earth.  Be responsible with money.  Think how much more time you will have with less things to be concerned about.  But don't make the mistake of paring your relationships down to the bare minimum too.  Because they really can't survive on next to nothing.