Sunday, January 22, 2012

decisions decisions decisions

Definition of AMBIVALENCE
: simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action
a : continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite)b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow
— am·biv·a·lent adjective
— am·biv·a·lent·ly adverb

I have found myself using the word ''ambivalent'' way too much lately. In this part of the world it is often used to mean ''i don't really care one way or the other" but I mean it in its true sense of being conflicted - having two opposing views about something.

I use it partly because I like it as a word, but also because I do seem to have been faced with a number of things - both big and small and in between - where I have had two differing directions of thought.

My FDH used to say I spent half my life weighing up pros and cons and was incapable of making a decision based on gut reaction and I think he may have been right.  I've got better at it, and the truth is of course, that if I listen to my inner voice (really truly listen), I know exactly what my opinion is, or what decision I ought to make.  It's just that I am an expert at weighing up consequences and trying to be balanced with outcomes.  It must be a hangover from my days of Banking! 

Why is it that we don't trust our inner voice?  Do we fear being wrong? Being right?  Being perceived as opinionated or inflexible?

What decisions do you dither about?  Which do you find easy to make, and which are easier to deviate from?    

When you make a decision that turns out to be the ''wrong'' one (and I use that term loosely) do you find it easy to forgive yourself?  Are you able to change direction?

Reason - Gut feeling - Fact...What drives you? 


Broot said...

I was reading a book called "Switch: How to change when change is hard" and in it the author mentions that when there are too many choices, we often don't choose. Too many choices leaves us decisionless. Is that perhaps where you are? :)

susan said...

Actually right now I'm doing pretty well on the decision front. it's only minor annoyances that come to mind...But I do know of several who really are in the thick of it. Yes I agree, too many choices can leave us paralysed.
On the other hand, occasionally in my work I tell my clients - sometimes the best decision is not to make a decision....