I totally deserved that!

Today on talk back there was a debate raging about the idea mooted to legalise marijuana. Of course lots of pros and cons and a fairly balanced number of each.

A man rang in and started down the ''where will it all end'' route.  I rolled my eyes as I listened - yet another old guy complaining about young people and how when he was a teenager there were boundaries, and kids didn't misbehave, and all that other stuff that is completely not true but sounds good when you're a senior looking back with misty eyes on your youth.

But then the host made the comment 'actually I think the question is not whether this should be legal, but why we think it should be - seems we think that everything is a right these days regardless of it's impact on us or society'.

Wow how true is that.  I reckon in the time of my adulthood, we have changed from a society who 'got on'' and did stuff, and wore the consequences of bad decisions, to one that has a complete sense of entitlement, and worse, if it doesn't like the outcome will fight to the death for restitution.  Lose your job? Lodge a personal grievance.  Get a speeding ticket? Send in a dispute.  Unhappy with a product? Take it back to the shop and demand a refund.  Having a tough time in a relationship? Demand change or walk out!

Absolutely there are times when all of these responses are valid or reasonable.  But not ALL the time.  We have become a society who thinks we are the most important person in the universe and everyone else should take that into consideration - or worse, get the heck out of our way so we can charge on through it.  There's no such thing as tough luck any more. Not many people suck up anything.  There are few who would make a life changing compromise if there was an easier option.

It saddens me.  How did we go from being people who gave a damn about others, who didn't think twice about going out of our way for someone, stranger or not.  Who was so appreciative of having a job/wife/new TV/car that to question the validity or quality of these things was not the foremost thing in our minds!?

We are people who think the world owes us a living.  Its a broad generalisation but it's true.  Kids are encouraged to feel a sense of entitlement, and adults just get on and have one.  We DESERVE better. We SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THAT. And, the longer we dwell on those thoughts, the stronger they become.  Until reality is untenable at which point we write the letter or make tracks.

I've spent a bit of time of late in this camp.  I didn't deserve that. I TOTALLY didn't deserve THAT! And as for THAT - well frankly I should sue for it. Some of it I didn't. I really didn't.  But some is just life. Other people make decisions that impact on me.  And I can rage and burn all I like, but as long as the rest of the world is going to march on with it's sense of entitlement up high o the flagpole, my feelings won't make a blind bit of difference.  Sad. But a reality.

Yes, often it's true that we get something, experience something that isn't fair, or we really don't deserve.  But often it ain't - and maybe we should spend a little bit more time being grateful for, and gracious with, the things and people in our lives, and a little less time wishing they were better.

tis the season to be thankful

The words that have been on my mind this week are grateful and  content.

As the avalanche of flyer's for Christmas shopping grows at my gate, and there seems to be more advertisements on television than actually programming (all which tell me I will be a better person/happier/smarter/more attractive if only I purchase from a particular store) I am reminded again of how easy it is to lose sight of the concept of being happy with what I already have.  And its particularly challenging having two small people in my house who are so easily influenced by the media.

Certainly it is unreasonable to expect a child to easily understand that they already ''have so much'' when they are subjected to this constantly, and also don't have a world view as broad as an adults.  And all children see more of what they don't have than what they do.

But Christmas is surely a time we should be taking a breath and remembering just how much we DO have and being glad for it.  Grateful for me means adopting some humility and being reminded of the abundance we live in as a society, as a community, and as a family. It means being thankful and gracious even when I don't necessarily feel like being either.   Content means being able to accept that I really do have enough - even though they may be times I still crave a particular thing or experience.  It goes beyond resignation (that will have to do), and  not as far as complacency (I no longer need to have goals or drive) and allows me to appreciate the small things in life that tend to get overlooked - especially in the crazy time that is December.

What are you grateful for this Christmas?  Can you look at your life and feel content?  What might need to change in 2013 to get you closer to this?

I am grateful for the amazing community I live in - the friends around the corner, the abundance of local produce I can buy, the incredible view of Mt Pirongia I can see every day.  I am content with my smallish house, my oldish car and my longish grass.  And this year I want to make a real effort (that's the non-complacency bit) to share that gratefulness and contentment with my family over the crazy pre-Christmas season.

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posted with gratitude

I started preparing for dinner at 7.30 yesterday morning, putting a gigantic piece of (home kill)  corned beef in my slow cooker - and reflected on the marvels of modern appliances as the day wore on.

I walked to school with kids, in the sun, and stopped to chat a while with other mums not seen for some time.

Back home to work - remotely and in the quiet - before I  picked up my son and took him to an ear/nose/throat specialist who explained the amazingly complicated human body in simple and 6-year-old friendly terms, and handed me a quote for $5000 to fix some ongoing health issues.  We stopped at the McDonald's drive through for some hot chips and returned to school in time for a PTA fundraising sausage sizzle.

All the while, the slow cooker bubbled away, the potatoes baked in the oven.  The bread maker did it's thing. The spa pool heated gently.  The ice cream waited in the freezer.   The ipod blasted out sounds whilst I vacuumed and steam mopped before guests arrived.  I wandered about Facebook in between times, catching up with friends in three different countries.

At three o-clock, I met with four other friends and their children at the ice cream shop, where we sat in the sun and the kids chased each other with over sized sticks and threatened each other with sticky fingers.

By 4.30 I was back home, pouring a glass of wine and surveying a clean house and a nearly cooked meal.

And then my friends arrive for dinner.  Four adults, 4 kids and teenager all enjoyed slow cooked corned beef, baked potatoes, massive platter of salad and home made bread.  We had a simple dessert of ice cream in a cone and warm mini donuts.

After dinner the children jumped in the spa pool (a new addition to my outdoor living space) and the adults talked about everything and nothing for an hour or two.

It was a day of amazing simplicity - and also a celebration of the marvels of technology.  But overall, it was a day of gratitude.  What an amazing place I live in.  What fabulous friends I have.  How blessed I am to have such luxuries and conveniences at my fingertips.

What are you grateful for today?

thank-fullness

 I have previously blogged about a fantastic television series called The Monastery and the subsequent book 'Finding Sanctuary''.  You can read more about this at  http://www.findingsanctuary.org/

This week my discussion group started on working through this book, with a combination of quiet reflection, journalling and conversation.

We began by talking about thankfulness and this weeks leader of the group asked us to read Psalm 139 and then write down (in our shiny new journals), our reflections, or our list of things we were thankful for.

It was just amazing to discover than in fact, not one of us made a list of things at all.  We all had very different views on what we were thankful for, and most had to do with feelings rather than things, or experiences (well, we are all women after all...).

For me, I got stuck.  I think I already go on too much about all the good things in my life - to the extent that perhaps I sound like I protest too much!  But I wrote down ''thankfullness'' at the top of the page and stared at it blankly for a few minutes.  And there it was:  my untended spelling mistake was my moment of clarity.  Perhaps being thank-full means being content with what you have, and considering that ''á quiver full'' rather than listing everything individually (hence highlighting what we DONT have).  Perhaps being thank-full, or thank-filled, means just being, not doing, saying, acting.  Just being.

What would you say you are thankful for?  To whom?  Are you satisfied with what you have, or are you always looking for the next thing to add to the list?