Sunday, February 20, 2011

love languages

I went to a work conference on Friday and we talked of the Love Languages.  I work with preschoolers so it's really relevant. (for those who aren't familiar:  A lot of parents and carers aren't that comfortable, or even confident with using touch with their kids, and mainly music is the perfect forum to introduce this.  The programme is popping up all over the world so it's working!

I had a thought...well actually I've had it before...
What if we speak more than one language - that is, perhaps the way we GIVE love is not necessarily the way we want to receive it?  For example, my daughter's primary love language, as in how she like to receive love, and feel validated etc, is through quality time and gift giving.  But in giving love, she tends to go with Words of Affirmation, and to a lesser degree, gift giving.  My son is less complex (perhaps that's a boy thing), it's touch first and gifts second.
Me? Well  I'm definitely not that good at the words, except with the children, and tend to gravitate towards quality time and gifts....I certainly think spending time with people is the best way to affirm them (show love?), and I do spend a lot of time thinking about the gifts I give.  But as far as getting gifts - well it's nice, but i'm as happy with the $2 shop thing as the fancy stuff, and grand gestures don't really do a lot for me.  A well timed txt, a phone call, a drop by visit, these I love receiving.
It takes a huge amount of trust for me to really get into the 'touch' stuff (although I may appear a very touchy feely kind of person) - but give it to me and I'll really love you for it. And it's kind of like chocolate, the more I eat the more I want!  Similarly, I really appreciate acts of service but am better at giving that receiving!

Anyone need a hug?

1 comment:

JoGillespie said...

I did the test and got Words of Affirmation first, closely followed by Touch. I'll bet that if my hubby did it, he'd get service followed by service, followed by service :-)